Many Memoria.

It's been quite the week in terms of memorials for people I liked and loved.

On my morning walk today I found a huge, very red leaf.  Yes, it's as big as my face:

In past years I would press and dry it and send to my grandmother, who missed the autumn colours while living in Hawai'i and Florida.  I am wistful that I cannot send this one to her.

As I mentioned in the previous post, last Sunday was the memorial for an actor I knew:

It was a lovely celebration of his life, his creativity, the love he had for his children, and the theatre, and all of his friends.  I was more on the periphery than many, but still welcome and glad I attended.  I donated to Gideon's Feet in his honour.

Yesterday was the funeral for my honorary uncle, whom I referred to sometimes as my godfather, who was one of my mother's lifelong friends:

In his honour I donated to St. Anthony Hospital in Chicago.  It was one of his most heartfelt interests, to ensure that people received quality medical care no matter what their financial status.

In the afternoon, in Honolulu, the celebration of the life of a friend's mother:

There is an undergraduate scholarship fund at SMU in her name, and of course I contributed.

I am very glad that I could attend both via Zoom.  For Uncle Peter's, of course I was with my parents.

Yesterday I also learned of the funeral for my friend Jo, who lost her battle to cancer earlier this month.  I met her in the SCA and we bonded over movie nights (her husband is a reviewer) and knitting and other crafts.  This is one of the last photos of her, from July, before her doctors determined that her body didn't have the wherewithal for another assault on what she called "Voldemort":

It's been a week.  Remember to say "I love you" often, and hug people when you can.

There and There Again.

After getting home from the meetings in Nashville, I was home for the weekend then had to pack and leave on the Monday for department meetings at our headquarters in Irving.  While in other times I might have stayed the intervening days, I chose to go home when the meetings ended on Wednesday evening and come back on Saturday.

The original reason for this second trip (and I'd hoped the work one would overlap, so I wouldn't have to travel twice, but it was not to be) is the Dallas Winds concert on Tuesday evening.  When I came to the July 4th concert the friend who accompanied me expressed interest, and who am I to pass up the opportunity?  Then I realized if I came on Saturday I could see a play, then the family announced a memorial service for an actor I knew and admired, held on Sunday.  So it's a busy few days here, and I supposed it's good that I had the break at home.

During those days another friend died; she had pancreatic cancer and lost the battle.  Her husband is devastated, even with the time to prepare; they'd agreed, no official memorial service.  The same day that I heard about Jo, my (honorary) aunt/godmother advised that my (honorary) godfather/uncle had died.  He was one of my mother's longest-term friends, and became a friend to my father when my parents married.  My brother and I grew up with their children, and they looked after us a few times when our parents went out of town.

So, it's been an emotional few days, especially because I was at the meetings and so had to remain professional, give a presentation, etc.

On the up side, when I went to the show last night, a friend gave me a huge bag of scarves and mitts and hats she had made to donate to people in western North Carolina, who are recovering from Hurricane Helene.  It's getting cold out there and these will be welcome.  The friend with whom I am staying, who is also donating via a friend's daughter who is at school in WNC, gave me a scarf to include.

{Yes, my title is a takeoff on this book.}

Adventures in Nashville

I went to a conference last weekend, and the beginning of this week.  In addition to all the luncheons, meetings, continuing education sessions, and networking, I was able to go out and see some things.

Arriving on Saturday, I left my bags at the hotel and headed out to Celebrate Nashville!  It was a very hot day and I forgot to take a hat, so part of the time I was huddling in shade with everybody else.  I think a vendor was selling parasols because I saw a number of them in different colours.  I didn't find those and because I didn't have a tote bag, I wasn't interested in buying much, but I did find soaps.

I watched some of the dance performances and listened to music and ate a number of things, plus got an iced lemonade:

  

Taiyaki - traditional custard and nontraditional cheese; a "spinach filled pita" from the balkan foods truck, an alfajor and the lemonade, not from the same stand.  There were so many other things I wanted to try, but it was very hot which diminishes my appetite.  And the lines for ice cream and italian ice were very long.

While eating I discovered there was a music tent in the foods area, so sat under a tree, wound yarn, and enjoyed listening.  Eventually the festival ended and I headed back to the hotel for a nice shower and rehydrating, and to watch college football (Michigan lost).

The next morning began the first of the "Team Turtle Walks", where I led groups on different routes around Nashville, with bits of history where I found some.  It's partly networking and partly to get out and moving before spending a day in the convention center.  The first day we walked out to Nissan Stadium, home of the Tennessee Titans, walking over the river where ecstatic fans had thrown the goalposts the night before, in wild celebration of Vanderbilt's first victory over Alabana in fifty or so years of football competitions.  We also walked over the bridge where John Bonjovi had talked a woman back from the edge a few weeks ago.

At the State Capitol, obligatory photo op.

Other days we did a civil rights and the law walk, on roads named for Rep. John Lewis, Rosa Parks, and Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., past the Estes Kefauver Federal Building and the State Capitol; another along Broadway and around the Schermerhorn Symphony Center and the Ryman Auditorium; and the final day took us to the library:

I am holding the turtle that is mascot of our walks.

Also on Sunday I played hooky for a bit and with a friend; we have a tradition of spending time together at the Annual Meetings in what he jokes to his husband is a "Same Time, Next Year" adventure.  It was my turn to plan so we started at the Parthenon (I'd seen it the day before during Celebrate Nashville, but it was a surprise for him) and then to "Dragon Park":

Of course a photo of me with the sufferagists.

The meetings started on Sunday evening, and there aren't many photos worth sharing.  I did wear a mask every day, and some people track me down to see what that day's quote or information says.

I did get my share of swag, but didn't overdo - except that I took plenty (mostly Goo-Goo Clusters) back to share with others in the Legal Department during our in-person All-Hands meeting next week.

Items from my network's sponsor - and no, I am NOT sharing the duck!

Asking and granting.

 (An essay I wrote ten years ago, and still find true in 5785.)

This is the time of year that Jewish persons ask for forgiveness of transgressions, to learn from them and move into the new year (palindromically 5775) with a clean slate, as it were. But the faults and transgressions are not erased; you are given another chance to NOT do the same things again, and to make yourself a better person and the world a better place.

In the old days, when you lived in the same small town or area as everybody with whom you interacted, it was easier to make apologies and sort out understandings. It also made sense to do this, because you still have to live in the same small community. Today, we spread out, we travel, and it can be harder to know when you have hurt someone's feelings or committed a perceived wrong. To ensure that they have apologized to everybody, especially those who cannot be reached and those who may feel slighted in ways unknown to the actor, many Jewish issue a blanket apology.

The value in doing this is that you might find out from someone about something you did, of which you were not aware - a remark, an action, some slight or hurt that bruised the other person but which was not intended by you. I think it's a good thing to ask about this, to become aware and empathetic. I don't think it should be limited to one day or season of the year; always try to be thoughtful of others, to let them know it's OK to tell you when you have committed a hurt, and to try to not do it again.

Of course, there are people who will always be hurt, who will take every comment as a slight. I know there are times when I do it, and I try to figure out why and unlearn the doing, so I don't receive or perceive it the same way in the future, if possible. I also want to know if I did something that hurt another, so I can try to unlearn the doing of that too.

Therefore, if I've hurt or confused you, feel free to ask me about it. I may have an explanation, I may not have realized that you perceived the interaction differently from my intention, or I may end up as confused as you. No telling, but no knowing until we try. As the Lord's Prayer says, at least in the version I learned, "And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

In between.

Today in the Jewish calendar is Shabbat Shuvah, also known as "the Sabbath of return", also reminding us that we are in the midst of the season of repentance.

It is a time of introspection, and reflection, and asking and giving forgiveness for known and unknown faults and trespasses.  Many people use it as a reset, to begin some new practice or way of living.

I saw an imagine, that I cannot now find, which said

Many pay attention to how they

live between

Rosh Hashonnah and Yom Kippur,

when they should pay attention

to how they live between

Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashonna.

That is something important to think about.  I try to live well and considerately and appropriately all year, but it's not easy and I know I fail.  Instead of wallowing in the failure, I try to learn, and do better.  After all, we cannot change the past, but we have the power to change the future.

L'Shana Tovah 5785

As this New Year begins, many in Israel have been hiding in shelters because of bombs from Iran and Lebanon.  There are those who say it is just retribution for what is happening in Gaza.  They see only the reports of Palestinian civilian deaths, and ignore the events of October 7, 2023 that began the conflict, and the killings and other atrocities that have continued.  They see only the Palestinians, not the Israelis.

And if I ask people to consider the Jewish side of the conflict, I am called a Zionist and a colonialist and worse.  Threats.  It's becoming less easy to be visibly Jewish, yet I cannot hide because that is what these people want: to wipe us from the planet.  To force us into hiding as in the Inquisition and the Shoah.

As 5785 begins, I recommit to not hiding.  To speaking out.  To asking people to hear and see the other side.  To not allow the Jewish people to be wiped out of this planet.

May those who celebrate be written for a safe and healthy, a sweet and happy, year ahead.  L'Shana Tovah.